I check the stats for my site on a regular basis–not because I get any sort of advertising revenue from this site, but because I’m curious about who visits and why. One of the more interesting sections is “search phrases,” which is what people typed into Google (or whatever) to arrive here. Most of the stuff makes sense after I think about it a bit, but some of it is just insane.
Here are a few of the more bizarre:
- crushed by a giant foot
- carfuck
- no microphone problems in jesus name
- self mutilation photos [Why would you ever look for that? Fuck you, internet.]
- absolute bastard [You’ve come to the right place.]
- lesbian [I swear this word wasn’t on my site anywhere before today.]
- baron von chickenpants
- self harm dislocated shoulder
- ravenous slor
- ivy league convo in burger joint
- king louis fucker [What?]
- how much static electricity body [That sounds like a science project I want nothing to do with.]
- urinal pennies
- how to make a slor powered car? [The fuck is a slor? Did you mean “solar,” genius?]
There also seem to be an amazing number of people who desperately hate their roommates. It’s strange that I have this many people arriving here when I have one post about hating my roommate–and it’s from 2004.
- i hate my roommate
- i hate my roommate apartment
- i hate my roommates
- hate roommate
- my roommate hates me
- my roommate and i hate each other how do i get out of my lease
- i fucking hate my roommate
- i hate roommate blog
- roommate hates me
- hate my roommate
- my roommate is a fucking douche
- blog i hate my room mate
- hating roommate
- roommate hate blog
- my roommate sucks blog
- i fucking hate my roommates
- i hate my roommate blog
- i hate living with my roommate
- fucking hate my roommate
- my room mate is an asshole
I saved the best for last–out of all of the phrases, my favorite is easily “motherfucker stole my sandwich.” I laughed out loud when I saw that.
