- From June 2002 until his death in August 2005, Former President Bill Clinton was perpetually hounded by mobs of angry villagers carrying torches and pitchforks.
- English Wolfhounds were originally bred to kill Irish peasants.
- Guinea pig meat is considered a delicacy in many aboriginal cultures, due to its strong similarity in flavor and texture to human flesh.
- Anubis, the Egyptian god of the dead, was the inspiration for the character Chandler on Friends.
- Contrary to popular belief, fireworks were not created by the Chinese in the 12th century. They were actually created by me, just last Tuesday. I totally still have some gunpowder in my basement if you want to go blow some shit up, dude.
- It is widely believed that King Louis XVI of France was present at Elvis’s birth. However, this is obviously absurd. King Louis XVI was not resurrected by scientists until 1937, two full years after Elvis’s birth.
- Judy Garland has been a celebrated gay icon for decades. However, no one outside of the gay community has ever been told why. The world’s top labs continue to research the issue.
- Brown University recently added a major in Modern American Idiocy. Curriculum goals require a subscription to People magazine, a MySpace account, and at least three hours of daily viewing of MTV.
- Four early drafts of the United State Constitution were rejected due to Thomas Jefferson’s gratuitous and frequently shocking use of profanity. Three of these revisions still exist, and are known collectively as the “King George III eats his own shit” papers.
Category: worth reading
Meme
- One of your scars, how did you get it?
I have a 1″ scar on my right eyebrow. A friend and I were attacked by a couple drunks while we were out for a walk. It bled so much that a group of twenty people all stopped talking to stare as a cop and I looked for them.
- What is on the walls in your room?
Posters, a large wall mural/hanging thing, and a Japanese woodblock print I found in a snowbank and framed.
- Do you snore, grind your teeth, or talk in your sleep?
Yes. All of them.
- What type of music do you listen to?
I’ve all but given up trying to find any current music that doesn’t suck. The music industry can get fucked in the eye with a crowbar.
- Do you know what time you were born?
No. Should I?
- What do you want more than anything right now?
Meaning and direction.
- What do you miss?
Pedestrians, while driving.
Did you know…
- Orel Hershiser was the only professional baseball player to win a grammy for best new artist.
- It is legal to kill a hobo in Fayetteville, Kentucky, provided he has offended your horse.
- The 68th United States Congress was composed entirely of laid off carnival workers, spawning the infamous Corn Dog Rebellion of 1925.
- All modern computers are powered by tiny gremlins. Contrary to popular belief, computer processor speeds have not been getting faster. Intel has simply been breeding smaller gremlins in order to pack more of them onto a chip.
- There has never been a country called France.
- Dogs are born with an instinctual fear of Dan Rather.
- Tiger Bop is the oldest continually published periodical in the world. Back issues dating back to July 227 A.D. are available for order on their website.
- In a series of increasingly hilarious events, Scott Baio mistakenly invented time travel on the set of Charles in Charge.
- Canadian and British pennies will instantly annihilate each other if they are permitted to come into contact.
- 17% of new Catholics develop superpowers within a year of their conversion.
- Prior to entering politics, Richard Nixon was a world-champion bodybuilder, winning Mr. Universe an unprecedented seven years in a row (1947-1954).
- Alabama was originally called “New Sodom” by settlers. The name was changed in 1987 for tourism reasons.
Bonus! Get out your calculator for this one. Pick any seven digit number except 1573355. Add 17. Add the number of days until the end of the year, then divide by the year you were born. Look carefully at the result. If done correctly, you will see a representation of the ceiling of the Sistene Chapel on your calculator screen. Keep trying until you get it.