Category: mundane existence

I can’t believe how pathetically banal my dreams have become. When I remember my dreams, which isn’t often, they’re typically so bland that I wish they’d remained in the ether where they belong. Case in point, last night’s dreams included the following:

• Waiting in line to purchase a Wii, then getting angry because the clerk was taking forever and ignoring me.
• Being asked for ID, then finding that my eight-year-old driver’s license had broken into several pieces in my wallet. (This actually happened. My driver’s license consisted of no less than four pieces before I finally got a replacement.)
• Making coffee.

Apparently, I’m even boring in my dreams.

I had a moment a few weeks ago when I purchased a Roomba, and realized that I’m living in the “future.” Since technology rarely advances in sudden enormous leaps, we only see incremental changes to existing technologies. It’s only when I take a step back and think about everything that’s changed in the last ten years that I can be amazed by how far we’ve come.

For instance…

• Ten years ago the original Playstation was the premier gaming console, and was about 1’x1½’x2″ in size. Today, the PSP is essentially a significantly improved version with better graphics and wifi–and it fits in the palm of your hand.
• I have a robot, something I’ve wanted since I saw Short Circuit for the first time. While it’s unlikely that owning a Roomba will result in any Steve Guttenberg-related hijinks or teach me to love, it’s a start. I have a robot slave that does my (vacuuming-related) bidding, and that makes me very happy.
• My iPhone would have been a prop on Star Trek ten years ago. Now, I’m able to watch videos, listen to music, and communicate with my contacts nearly anywhere I go. I have the entirety of the wealth of the Internet at my disposal, so long as I have a cellular or wifi signal.
• With Netflix’s streaming movies, iTunes, and bittorrent, I have access to nearly every movie and album ever made. I can have these within hours or minutes, and I never even need to leave my apartment. A few days ago, I wanted to watch 2001: A Space Odyssey and didn’t want to wait for it to be delivered via Netflix. I went to The Pirate Bay, and had a DVD-quality copy of it within a few hours.
• I never need to take anything with me to work. I can connect to my home network from the office, and I can do nearly anything I could do if I were actually there. If I need a file, I connect and grab a copy. If I want to listen to my music, I connect and stream it to my workstation. If my DVR is giving Megan problems, I log in and fix them. Even textbooks come in PDFs now, so I can put a copy on my work computer, my phone, and my home computer without needing to lug a book around with me.
• Speaking of books, you don’t even need to go to a library to read the classics any more. Project Gutenberg puts copies of public domain and copyright-free books online. (Little-known fact: project Gutenberg was not named for the inventor of the printing press. It was actually named after Steve Guttenberg. The misspelling was intentional.) I could read Othello sitting in my car on the side of the interstate if I wanted to.

All of this stuff is commonplace today. What will seem ordinary ten years from now?

I woke up this morning to sound of a blaring, horrid, teeth-grinding alarm. You know how a night without sleep usually doesn’t hit you until two days later? This morning was two days later.

Due to a work issue I don’t want to get into for legal reasons–it’s a miracle I’m not being sued right now–I ended up working from 3:00pm on Tuesday until 7:00am on Wednesday. Then, back in again at 3:00pm Wednesday for another full shift.

When I’m awakened from a very deep sleep, usually when it’s impossibly early or I’m incredibly sleep-deprived, large portions of my brain refuse to function properly for at least half an hour after I’m “awake.”

I was determined to make it to Tae Soo Do at noon, and forced myself into the shower. One of the stranger effects^* resultant of my partially-online brain is that I stumble, twitch, and jerk like a drunken marionette. It took me two tries to step into the shower. Once I was there, I stared vacantly at the faucets. I had no idea what purpose the shower served, nor why I had managed to force myself there.

Eventually, I managed to clean myself and put in my contacts. Still too sleep-weak to stand for more than a few minutes, I laid down on the bed to try to rest for a bit before breakfast. After a brief battle of willpower versus exhaustion, I fell back asleep.

When I woke up four hours later, I was in exactly the same position as when I fell asleep.

^*Another is that unfamiliar and aggressive stimuli cause me to react immediately and with surprising violence. Apparently, it’s a lizard brain reaction of fight or flight. I once smashed a hotel-room alarm clock as hard as I could until it stopped making noise, then turned to see my then-girlfriend staring at me in mute terror.