Category: funny

I’m an Internet Bastard.

April 9, 2007 / / 0 Comments

I frequent Digg.com on a daily basis, and spend far too much time commenting on posts. I’m usually all the things you’ve come to expect–insightful, witty, and intelligent. It’s even somehow clearly obvious from my blindingly brilliant posts that I’m exceptionally handsome. [See picture for details on this.]

However, sometimes it’s more fun to be an absolute bastard. Case in point, this. I’m squeaker. I think you can hazard a guess who mikekol is.

Ron Jeremy is an extra in Ghostbusters

March 25, 2007 / / 0 Comments

I should probably explain this, but I’m not going to. Deal with it.

Marty Perl’s Airborne Carnival says (12:01 AM):
http://protoncharging.com/gb/2005/04/11/new-gb-trivia-ron-jeremy-in-gb/

Tambo ( ) says (12:01 AM):
SPEAKING OF YOU.

Marty Perl’s Airborne Carnival says (12:01 AM):
YES?!

Tambo ( ) says (12:02 AM):
i knew that. you’re late to the game.

Marty Perl’s Airborne Carnival says (12:03 AM):
do you want something, pigfucker?

Tambo ( ) says (12:03 AM):
oh yeah. i want something.

Tambo ( ) says (12:06 AM):
it kind of freaks me out that mike has the huge pictures on messenger.

Tambo ( ) says (12:06 AM):
your forehead needs its own zip code.

Marty Perl’s Airborne Carnival says (12:07 AM):
if you’re not mike, who are you?

Tambo ( ) says (12:08 AM):
someone who wishes “oh jesus” was speech-recognizable.

Marty Perl’s Airborne Carnival says (12:08 AM):
:: grunts ::

Tambo ( ) says (12:08 AM):
:: pokes :: who do YOU think it would be?

Tambo ( ) says (12:08 AM):
pigfucker.

Tambo ( ) says (12:09 AM):
and incidentally, i’d totally do ryan reynolds.

Marty Perl’s Airborne Carnival says (12:09 AM):
navin?

Tambo ( ) says (12:10 AM):
that, sir, was the best guess ever.

Tambo ( ) says (12:10 AM):
you win a prize.

Marty Perl’s Airborne Carnival says (12:10 AM):
what sort of prize?

Tambo ( ) says (12:11 AM):
how about a bat wing?

Marty Perl’s Airborne Carnival says (12:11 AM):
mmm… I’ll pass.

Tambo ( ) says (12:11 AM):
no fun. no fun at all.

Tambo ( ) says (12:12 AM):
i’ll give you a guess. in that it’d pretty much be impossible for me to give you a bat wing.

Tambo ( ) says (12:13 AM):
and i’m fucking adorable.

Marty Perl’s Airborne Carnival says (12:13 AM):
Jackie?

Tambo ( ) says (12:13 AM):
now you lose.

Marty Perl’s Airborne Carnival says (12:13 AM):
No, that’s funny…

Tambo ( ) says (12:13 AM):
but we’re definitely having fun at your expense now.

Marty Perl’s Airborne Carnival says (12:14 AM):
because that’s Mike’s mom.

Tambo ( ) says (12:14 AM):
so he just informed me.

Tambo ( ) says (12:14 AM):
you, sir, are now on notice.

Marty Perl’s Airborne Carnival says (12:15 AM):
oh, wait–someone with no balls. did Lance come to visit?

Tambo ( ) says (12:16 AM):
somebody should blog this conversation. it’s in need of memorialization.

Did you know…

March 17, 2007 / / 0 Comments
  • Orel Hershiser was the only professional baseball player to win a grammy for best new artist.
  • It is legal to kill a hobo in Fayetteville, Kentucky, provided he has offended your horse.
  • The 68th United States Congress was composed entirely of laid off carnival workers, spawning the infamous Corn Dog Rebellion of 1925.
  • All modern computers are powered by tiny gremlins. Contrary to popular belief, computer processor speeds have not been getting faster. Intel has simply been breeding smaller gremlins in order to pack more of them onto a chip.
  • There has never been a country called France.
  • Dogs are born with an instinctual fear of Dan Rather.
  • Tiger Bop is the oldest continually published periodical in the world. Back issues dating back to July 227 A.D. are available for order on their website.
  • In a series of increasingly hilarious events, Scott Baio mistakenly invented time travel on the set of Charles in Charge.
  • Canadian and British pennies will instantly annihilate each other if they are permitted to come into contact.
  • 17% of new Catholics develop superpowers within a year of their conversion.
  • Prior to entering politics, Richard Nixon was a world-champion bodybuilder, winning Mr. Universe an unprecedented seven years in a row (1947-1954).
  • Alabama was originally called “New Sodom” by settlers. The name was changed in 1987 for tourism reasons.

Bonus! Get out your calculator for this one. Pick any seven digit number except 1573355. Add 17. Add the number of days until the end of the year, then divide by the year you were born. Look carefully at the result. If done correctly, you will see a representation of the ceiling of the Sistene Chapel on your calculator screen. Keep trying until you get it.