Marc and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Hey kids! You can follow along at home by using this simple step-by-step guide to having a miserable day!

Commute to work: Merge into 20mph traffic on the city’s main thoroughfare, which normally runs around 65mph. While attempting to change lanes, nearly force a sedan off the road because it’s in your blind spot and your car has poor visibility. Wave apologetically. Learn that your car has terrifyingly poor traction in snow when you try to stop for breakfast, and slide past the strip mall’s driveway.

Work, before lunch: Spend an hour babysitting a customer while he works on a server, preventing you from getting any real work done.

Lunch: Go to Tae Soo Do for the first time in more than a week. After the pinched nerve in your leg drops you to your knees in excruciating pain for the fourth time, give up and schedule an appointment with a chiropractor for the following Monday. Get back to work ten minutes late.

After lunch: Spend another hour babysitting the same customer. Accomplish absolutely nothing on the one thing you actually looked forward to doing today.

Commute from work: Buy a bottle of Irish whiskey. Hit inexplicable bumper-to-bumper traffic as you drive home an hour and a half past rush hour.

Home: Have a drink or four. Make an attempt to say something heartfelt and meaningful to your ex-girlfriend/roommate, only to have it thrown back in your face. Fight about it. Upon getting into bed, learn that the nerve problem in your left leg also seems to affect circulation, since that foot is cold to the touch and the other isn’t. Blog.  Sleep.