Let’s see… hungry, hungry, hungry…

Can’t afford delivery pizza, and I’m not in the mood for it anyway…

Nothing in the fridge…

Nothing in the pantry…

Checking the cabinets…

Here we go. Box mix potatoes au gratin. That should be decent. But is there anything I can add to make it more like dinner? I hate eating a side dish for four and calling it a meal.

Alright, an onion. I can dice some of that up and put it in. That’ll be good. What else have I got…

Canned mushrooms. I hate canned mushrooms. They taste like crap. Oh well. Maybe they’ll be better when taken with everything else.

Searching through the cans… and we have… canned… spinach? Yeah, why not. Plenty of iron in spinach. It’ll be good for me.

What else, what else, what else. What? Canned roast beef and gravy? Who would can roast beef? Where the hell did I even get this? Let’s see… it’s from Aldi’s. Yeah, thanks Mom. Made in BRAZIL?! Who gets canned goods from BRAZIL?! Man, now I’m really reaching. I don’t think this is going to work.

Ah, hell. In it goes.

Mixing, mixing… god, this looks disgusting. The spinach was definitely a bad idea. Oh well. Into the oven it goes. Maybe once it has time to cook it won’t look so… repulsive.

Time for some TV.

[ eighteen minutes pass ]

Let’s see, the box said to check it at twenty minutes. Better check it to be safe.

Oh god.

I’m going to have to eat that?

Why is the whole thing a shade of green that looks like leprechaun vomit?

Um… maybe it will magically be better when I check it in another ten minutes.

[ ten minutes later ]

Damn.

Alright, ten more minutes.

[ the tension builds ]

What? It looks worse?!

Maybe once it sits and cools for a bit. Yeah.

[ still building! ]

Oooh…. maybe not.

This has to be one of the most wretched culinary abominations shat into existence.

:: sigh ::

I hope this tastes better than it looks. Although I don’t know how it could taste worse.

Spinach. It tastes like canned spinach and nothing else.

Damn.

[ yeah, I wasn’t really going anywhere with this. ]