If you didn’t catch my last entry, In Memoriam, read that first.

[That entry was destroyed along with Diary-x. –ed.]

I went to Matt’s funeral today. It was a very moving ceremony. I’d only been to Catholic funerals before, and they’re pretty stodgy and impersonal. A priest reads a eulogy full of blanket statements intended to cover up the fact that he didn’t know the deceased, and no one else gets a chance to speak. I remember being angry at my grandfather’s funeral, because the priest kept calling him “Louis.” No one ever called him that.

Not this funeral. The minister gave a very eloquent and comforting eulogy, and then Matt’s brother came up and chokingly spoke about when they were kids, a couple funny stories about when they were hunting, about Matt trying to break up the fights between his older brother and sister and getting bumps on the head for his effort. Instead of being a plodding ceremony meaningless to most of the crowd, it was a reminder of who Matt had been and the lives he had touched. People laughed at the stories that were told, and there was nodding in the crowd as people spoke about him.

The only thing wrong with the ceremony were some of the people attending. There were guys that showed up wearing jeans and T-shirts. T-SHIRTS. At a FUNERAL. Granted, I doubt Matt would have cared–he was definitely a T-shirt and jeans kind of guy–but it seemed like a slap in the face to Matt’s grieving family. Their sloppy appearance seemed to say to me, “Yeah, I’m here… but your son’s/brother’s/nephew’s/grandson’s/uncle’s death didn’t mean enough for me to borrow a shirt and tie from my dad’s closet.” One guy even had his leather baseball cap on during the ceremony. I hadn’t even seen Matt since a chance run-in at a redneck bar two or three years ago, and I was debating whether or not I should wear a suit.

Overall, though, it was beautiful ceremony. I’m glad I went. I left immediately afterwards without talking to anyone. I didn’t know any of Matt’s family, and I had nothing to say to any of the rest of the people I used to know. Besides that, I didn’t trust my voice not to choke up or squeak if I tried to hold a conversation.

Despite not having seen Matt in years, I’m going to miss him. It’s nice to think that all the people that you’ve known in your life are still out there somewhere living their lives, learning, working, bitching, and growing. I guess it takes events like this one for people to realize that nothing lasts forever.