It buuuuuurns…
July 31, 2008 - 10pmAn albino girl crossed the street in front of my car at a stoplight the other day. As she stood on the corner waiting to cross again, I looked at the skin on my inside forearm, back to her, then back to my forearm again. The pallor of my skin was only barely darker than hers. Than that of an albino.
If not for her almost-white hair, I probably wouldn’t have even noticed her. You see, that level of paleness is completely normal to me. I’m so pale that I burn after twenty minutes in direct sunlight. People ask me why I don’t really do outdoorsy activities–it’s because I burst into flames like a vampire. What most people would consider to be normal light hurts my eyes and requires me to wear sunglasses.
I’m pretty sure my ancestors were part of some little-known nocturnal branch of the human species.
The Most Useless Telemarketer Ever
July 6, 2008 - 8pm(My office phone rings)
Me: [My company's name], this is Marc.
(loud call-center type chatter, no response)
Me: Hello? [Company name], this is Marc.
Caller: Uh… hi. I’m calling from [garbled] Services, and we’re doing a surv–(click).
I didn’t hang up on him. He hung up on himself in the middle of a sentence.
Marc’s Nuggets of Wisdom
June 30, 2008 - 7amIf you’ve ever wondered if Coca Cola is a viable substitute for sugar in coffee, it is not. It’s actually quite vile.
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© Marc Teale 2012.