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Pre-Interview

May 31, 2005 - 12am

Well, today’s the day. I have a phone interview with Microsoft at 5:30CDT today–about six hours from now. I am, understandably, nervous. I’ve done more to prepare for this interview than any other I’ve ever had, and I still don’t feel like I’m ready. Since I got the email setting up this up six days ago, I’ve done the following:

• Bought Inside C# and studied–not just read–145 pages of it.
• Staged a mock phone interview with Richard. He’s been interviewing job candidates for a decade, and he gave me a lot of good pointers.
• Brushed up on my object-oriented programming concepts by reading sixty-something pages of Java: How to Program.
• Read up on the rather interesting interviewing techniques Microsoft uses, and tried to prepare myself for them.
• Prepared myself to be able to talk about anything on my resume in depth.
• Weaselled out of work for today so that I’d have plenty of time to read, prepare, and freak out.
• Taught myself the very basics of the Common Language Runtime. It’s interesting stuff, but I haven’t had time to get in-depth with it as much as I really need to.
• Told pretty much everyone I know and/or work with about my interview.
• Got a grande double-shot iced caramel latte (hooray for pretentious coffee beverages) from the coffee shop down the block to be alert while studying, only to get so hyperactive that I can’t concentrate hard enough to get through a paragraph.

Hopefully, that will be enough. These last few days have felt like going through final exams in college again. Even if the interview process ends with this phone call, at least I’ll know that I did my best.

Microsoft

May 26, 2005 - 12am

As you probably know, I’ve been looking for a new job for ages now. The search has been less than fruitful. Out of all the resumes I’ve sent out in response to want ads, I’ve received a total of two rejection letters and not one interview.

However, Mike recently forwarded my resume up the line at Microsoft for a lab manager position. Amazingly, I received an email yesterday from a recruiter asking when we could schedule a preliminary phone interview. I had fully expected my resume to quietly die in the hands of anonymous HR drone like all the others, so this was an exciting surprise. Apparently Mike’s recommendation was enough to get my foot in the door. (Thanks again, man.)

According to Mike, the main technical qualifications that the recruiter is looking for are SQL experience (check), machine knowledge (check), and C# (…fuck).

I don’t know any C#. I bought a book Monday night and have every intention of learning as much as I can, as fast as I can. Despite the fact that it’s probably the most immediately comprehensible and well-written programming book I’ve ever read, it’s still an eight hundred page book, and even the best programming textbook in the world still reads like stereo instructions. For instance, this is from chapter one:

The method first loads a method argument onto the stack via the ldarg opcode. The 0 after the ldarg opcode signifies that the method’s first argument–the this value–be used. After that, the call opcode is used to invoke the System.Object method. Finally, the ret opcode simply returns control to the calling method.

I’m reasonably certain that the only people reading this who understand this are Mike and I. Possibly Raph as well, assuming he still reads my blog. I haven’t talked to him in months.

As such, I’m playing hookie from work tomorrow so that I can study. I never thought I would say this: but I think I might actually rather go to work. Studying a new programming language is difficult work: taking a short nap between racks of shoes in the stockroom is not.

[Did you know that all you have to do to look busy is carry a clipboard, pen, and vaguely angry expression? It's true. I could wander around all day every day doing absolutely nothing. Or, as the case may be, sitting on the floor of the upstairs stockroom "doing an inventory recount."]

Anyway, I’m still in the very, very preliminary stages of the interview process. Unfortunately, I’ve already made the mistake of telling people at work about it. This means that if I don’t get the job I’ll once again have the honor of slinking back to Gordman’s, defeated.

On the positive side, though, I’m very excited. Wish me luck. I’m going to need it.

Insomnia

May 17, 2005 - 12am

Who needs sleep
Well, you’re never gonna get it
Who needs sleep
Tell me, what’s that for
Who needs sleep
Be happy with what you’re getting
There’s a guy been awake since the second world war
–Barenaked Ladies, Who Needs Sleep

It’s 3:09am, and I’m wide awake. It’s been a while since I’ve had an attack of insomnia this severe–to be honest, I can’t remember the last time. I’ve tried everything I can think of to try to fall asleep: meditation, masturbation, progressive relaxation, and two cups of warm milk with nutmeg. Nothing is working.

At this point, I’m wondering which is the lesser of two evils: staying awake for the rest of the night or going back to bed. Either way, I’m going to be a zombie all day tomorrow… or today, I suppose. Generally, it’s much less unpleasant to just stay awake than to sleep for only a few hours. At least when staying awake, my brain favors me with enough endorphins for a nice sleep-deprivation buzz. (Never had one? You should try it. I spent most of high school in a constant fog due to them.)

I can already hear morning birds singing. Dammit. That’s not helping.

I think I’m going to just stay awake all night and drink lots of coffee all day long, and nap with my head on the table during my breaks. This, of course, will be followed by an epic collapse as soon as I get home from work.

Yeah, I think that’s the plan. I’m going to do laundry, send out semi-coherent job applications, and consume absurd amounts of caffeine.

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